Rubicon

They say there are points we cross in a relationship from which there’s no going back. Such happenings completely alter the dynamics of everything between the individuals involved. The beauty and pain of it is this – it is not so much the action carried out as it is the choices made which is the defining factor. It is not so much what you did; it is that you did it.
“How could you?” in such instances would really mean “how could you choose to do that, in spite of everything?”

I love to fix things. What makes fixing transitions like this one so impossibly difficult is the indisputable fact that we never really know exactly what the heart of another thinks of us; feels of us; expects of us; and desires of us. What we think we know are merely approximations based on our perception of what the other communicates and what we think we know of them. Approximations.

Think about it. We can be almost certain of what we think we feel for others, as well as the kind of individual we think them to be. Almost. And yet, if we look more closely, even that is an approximation which under extreme conditions unravels; forcing us to view its raw edges of which we would rather be blissfully unaware.

I wish I hadn’t spoken while I was angry. It’s not like I haven’t made efforts to bridle my tongue. It’s just that none of those efforts took ‘instant messaging’ into account. I’ve always written to heal my mind & spirit; to burn emotions I’d rather not express. So while my fingers were flying all over the blackberry’s keypad, no alarm whatsoever was triggered. I knew I was angry, but my subconscious didn’t recognize my typing as talking.

Oh bother! Now I’m rationalizing out an excuse to assuage my feelings of guilt.
There’s only one thing to do – and that’s to get to work at transforming the new relationship into a relationship I desire. I can’t get it back to what it used to be – if the premise is true, I gotta create something new. Itz like courting your wife afresh.

Advertisements
Categories: Private Journal | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Post navigation

Your Tots

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

OnyinyeOlufunmi

A Lifestyle Blog about Art, Books, Beauty, Culture, Food, Health, Travel and Psychology

onehouseproductions

Welcome to a world of expressions! Our blog isn't just a place where thoughts are expressed, it's a place where you find your voice and let everyone hear it!

Arts and Africa

Africa. Art. Culture.

TechCrunch

Startup and Technology News

The PushCV Blog

Building Capacity

Miniscule Diary

Dare to Read.

blaria

Seeing the world through the eyes of a Blaria (Black Daria).

Living In Lekki

Discover the best of Living in Lekki

Jalada

A pan-African writers' collective.

Brittle Paper

An African Literary Blog

Everyday People

A restless Corridor

olivianorah4u

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

David Gaughran

Let's Get Digital

WordAds

High quality ads for WordPress

The Nomad Notes

Adventure and Travel Blog

tlsplace

A Beautiful Mind

The Pursuit of Nappiness

Black Hairstyles & Natural Hair Care

Cecile's blog

as told by the she...

kume's tot lot

we all think; the beauty of a child's mind is that it will consider anything, & everything.

The WordPress.com Blog

we all think; the beauty of a child's mind is that it will consider anything, & everything.

YORUBA GIRL DANCING

"Be the Bim you wish to see in the world" - some dude

Little Growing Pains

Striving for improvement, one baby step at a time.

Nic's Blog

My random thoughts

Deolu Blogs Here...

...growing...learning...story...telling!

ScarsandPinkEarth

stories, poetry and art.

Our Legaci

Celebrating Black Culture & Life with J.A.M. Aiwuyor

Seun Odukoya

Your Stories. My Stories. Our Stories. Please forward all enquiries to seunodukoyaofficial@gmail.com.

Elle decides to have sex

I'm finally unleashing my sexuality and I'm writing all about it.

Magatte

Criticize By Creating

Dr. Nicholas Jenner PsyD, MA

Psychologist, Online CBT Therapist, Author

mjpienaar

Words sometimes, our only escape.

prophetbrahmarishi

Just another WordPress.com site

Talent Flush Blog

www.talentflush.com

50 Shades of me

DARK BLUE

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

Poesy plus Polemics

Words of Wonder, Worry and Whimsy

S'acclimater

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

Book of words

Books, reviews and all things worth reading

Material Books

A literary publishing house based in Kigali

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

INDIE AUTHORS, RESOURCES, BOOK PROMOS, SERVICES, PLUS MORE

Ayorinde's Blog

Spoken Word Poetry and Vanity Cards.

cikko's lair

my blog, my rules...

gezieonwochei

the words of poetryill

The Seeker's Dungeon

Troubling the Surf with the Ocean

%d bloggers like this: